


save you, save me

by tryslora



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Past Adam/Shiro (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 14:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15687645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tryslora/pseuds/tryslora
Summary: “You all right?”Shiro could lie—would lie—but Keith’s the one person who’s likely to call him on it. “Not really, no.”





	save you, save me

**Author's Note:**

> I don't plan on writing regularly for this fandom, but I couldn't get this scene out of my head after watching the end of season 7. I just kept thinking about it, and had to get it out on paper.

Shiro runs his fingers over the nameplate, the bumps and valleys already familiar. He traces Adam’s name with his eyes closed, memorizing the feel of of it. He can follow it without looking, knows where each letter begins and ends, knows the feel of the edges. Sharp and smooth in turns, biting when he curls his fingers and lets them drag across.

He lowers his hand, reaches out with his prosthetic fingers instead. He feels it still, feels something, but it’s different. Distant.

Like his memories of Adam himself.

“Shiro.”

He drops his hand, expression shuttering as he turns. “Keith. Acxa was looking for you.”

For a moment it looks like Keith will lean against the wall, arms crossed and starting to tilt before he catches himself and looks at the names. He straightens, hands falling to hang loose at his sides before he brings them up again to cross his arms. “She found me. She’s still out with Mom. They had some things to talk about.” He blinks, licks his lips, and looks from the wall to Shiro. “You all right?”

Shiro could lie—would lie—but Keith’s the one person who’s likely to call him on it. “Not really, no.”

“Tell me about him,” Keith says, nodding at the name on the wall. “I think I remember that you mentioned him in passing, but you never talked about him much.”

Shiro remembers that, and it seems so long ago, when Keith was an angry teenager, and Shiro was struggling with his health and conflict in his relationship. “You were just a kid.”

Keith shrugs one shoulder. “I’m not now. So talk.”

“I walked away,” Shiro says quietly, talking to the name on the wall. “I thought we were going to get married eventually, and instead I walked away. I wanted the Kerberos mission more than I wanted him.”

Keith makes a small noise, and when Shiro glances over, Keith rolls his eyes. “I doubt that. The Shiro I know is a great leader, but you care about people, too. I don’t see you prioritizing work over your relationship.”

Shiro considers that, considers everything he’s learned in these past few years. “I did, Keith. I needed to prove that I was better than they thought. That I had what it would take. I was the best, even if I was dying by inches. I was arrogant. I knew that the mission would succeed, and I’d come back the hero. And even though Adam said he wouldn’t be waiting, I knew that he’d still be here. We’d have a second chance.”

It had all seemed so obvious then. Shiro would return home victorious and he’d reunite, and they’d rekindle what had seemed like the love of his life. Mission first, but he’d have the happy ending as well.

“And now—”

“And now he’s gone.” Shiro cuts Keith off, needing to say the words himself. “I was arrogant, and I walked out, and he died before I came back.”

“Do you really think that has anything to do with you?” Keith asks, and Shiro takes a step back, like the words have physical weight against his skin. Keith’s hands are fisted by his side. “Because you went on a mission. You believed in it, and you believed in Sam and Matt, and you believed in yourself. And after that, you became a paladin. The black lion chose you, Shiro, and if it hadn’t, everything might have ended a lot sooner than it did. More people might be dead.”

“Keith.” His voice is low, trying to stem the torrent of words.

“This is a war, Shiro,” Keith says flatly. “People die. It wasn’t your job to be here to save him.”

That’s it. That’s exactly it, and Shiro can see the moment that Keith relaxes, knowing that Shiro’s gotten the message. “I—”

Keith waves a hand. “I’m not saying it’s not terrible, Shiro,” he says quietly. “I just want you to know that it’s not your fault. You made a decision that was the right one for you back then. Everything that happened afterwards happened. It can’t be changed. He made his decision, too.” His voice lowers. “It doesn’t mean don’t mourn. You loved him, of course you’re going to mourn. But you didn’t do this to him, Shiro.”

A shudder rolls through Shiro, shaking him to his core. He stumbles back another step, stopping when Keith catches his shoulders. Keith pulls, and Shiro wraps his arms around him, lets the shudder turn into quiet tears that roll down his cheeks as he shakes. Keith holds on tight, hands twisting in Shiro’s shirt, steady and solid. Keith is broad-shouldered, strong enough to hold him up, and Shiro lets Keith take his weight for long moments.

The shaking slows, stops, and Shiro is able to breathe again. Keith lets go as soon as Shiro moves, but he doesn’t let him go far. Keith puts an arm around Shiro’s shoulder, turns him away from the wall. Shiro doesn’t want to go, but Keith won’t let him turn back.

“It’s time for dinner. Hunk and his mom are cooking tonight, and we don’t want to miss it,” Keith says, as if they weren’t just in the middle of a serious conversation.

It’s easier to go with him than to fight. And it’s even easier to change the subject, let the topic of Adam’s death go.

It’ll be far harder to let the guilt go. But Shiro sees Keith’s point, and he’ll try.

“What did Krolia and Acxa have to talk about?” Shiro asks.

Keith rolls his eyes. “I have no idea. Something. I didn’t feel like sticking around for it.”

“She crossed a universe for you, you know,” Shiro points out. When Keith makes a noise, Shiro has to ask, “What?”

“Of course she did,” Keith says. “She’s my mother. She promised she wasn’t leaving me again.”

Shiro hesitates and Keith stops with him. “Not Krolia,” Shiro says. “Acxa.” At Keith’s blank look, Shiro elaborates. “She changed sides because of you. She’s drawn to you.”

Keith’s brow furrows, then his mouth opens and he shakes his head. “It’s not like that, Shiro. I don’t need Acxa. We just need to finish this fight. Find out who sent that robot—who enslaved the Altean colony. We’re in the middle of a war, here. I just want to fight.”

“War and love aren’t opposites, Keith. Weren’t we just talking about that?”

Keith laughs. “That’s you, Shiro.”

It hurts, somehow, to see Keith denying his emotional side. “You don’t have to be emotionless in order to avoid getting hurt,” Shiro points out. “How we relate to others is a part of our strength. We’re a team. How we’ve become that team is a part of our strength, and we’re family now. All the paladins, the soldiers. We’re all stronger together.”

“That’s exactly it,” Keith says bluntly. “I have the black lion. I have the paladins. I have you, Shiro.” Keith’s arm around his shoulders goes tight. “You’re right, we’re stronger together.”

“Like when you try to save me from my grief,” Shiro comments quietly.

“Guilt,” Keith corrects him. “Grieve. You need to. I’ve lost enough people to get how that works. But yeah, I’m saving you from your guilt because that’s what we do. You saved me first, Shiro, and I saved you back. And we’ll just keep on going, saving each other, until we don’t need to be saved anymore.”

When Keith starts walking again, Shiro lets himself be carried along. He relaxes under the weight of Keith’s arm, the warmth of him walking close. “The war will end someday,” Shiro muses.

“I know.” Keith’s voice is too quiet. Resigned. “Like I said, eventually we won’t need to be saved anymore.”

“I’m not leaving,” Shiro says, and it’s a promise, to the best of his ability. “When the war’s over, when we finally have peace, I’m not leaving. And in the meantime, we’ll work together. Side by side. I save you, you save me.”

“And together we save the universe,” Keith says with a small smirk.

“Exactly,” Shiro agrees.

He’s made that mistake before, and he’s not making it again. This time he’s not leaving.

**Author's Note:**

> I write for a few fandoms, and I write original work as well. You can find me at [tryslora](http://tryslora.tumblr.com) on tumblr and if you want to give my original work a try, I have a serial at [Welcome to PHU](http://welcometophu.tumblr.com) on tumblr.


End file.
